Back-to-school season is here, with its supply lists, new routines, and big feelings (yours and theirs). It puts real pressure on parents who want their kids to start off on the right foot. So we asked Dr. Chloe Massey, a parenting advisor and child development specialist, how using an Aura digital frame to share photos and reminisce together can help parents and kids stay connected through it all.
Over 15 years as a teacher, researcher, and now parenting advisor, Dr. Massey has focused on child development, and today she works with families to bring that research into their day-to-day parenting. We sat down with her to talk about what families are really navigating, why photos in the home can do more than you might expect, and how to find connection on even your busiest days.
AURA: Back to school can feel like a lot. What anxieties and questions are you seeing in your practice right now?
DR. MASSEY: Back to school is genuinely complex, and I think it's worth naming that. We're coming off of summer, which for a lot of families means less structure and less routine. Then September hits, and suddenly there's this immense pressure to have it all together: the right supplies, the perfect lunchbox, the after-school activities. It feels abrupt, because it is.
What I try to bring back to center stage with my clients is that before we start signing kids up for more things, let's talk about what actually grounds them, like sleep, mealtimes, and connection routines. We want to buy the new backpack, and yes, we need a backpack, but a new backpack is not a solve for the transition that's coming.
A lot of parents know the after-school meltdown: a kid holds it together all day, then falls apart the second they walk in the door, over something small. What's going on there, and what do kids need most?
Connection, first of all. They need parents who see them for who they are and what they're feeling. It's not our job to get rid of whatever feelings come with going back to school. Our job is to be there and ride it out with them.
As life gets busy, connection is often the first thing to go. But a grounding dinner as a family or an early Friday pizza night before everyone scatters can make a big difference. And routines. Not rigidity, but clarity. Kids need to know what to expect, and there's real comfort in that (even if they don't say so).
There's a concept you talk about called elaborative reminiscing. What does it actually mean in practice?
Yes. Elaborative reminiscing is a concept from child development research that I draw on in my work quite frequently. It is a way of talking with our children about their past experiences by asking open-ended questions and following their lead.
A simple example: instead of saying, "Remember when we saw that huge fish on the beach?" you might say, "It was so fun at the beach yesterday. What are some of the things we saw?" In the first version, I've done all the memory work for my child. In the second, I'm giving them space to think, to remember, to put language to something they experienced.
Elaborative reminiscing is linked to stronger memory and better language skills, and there's a real argument that it supports emotional regulation too. So much happens in that moment of asking and waiting.
How do photos factor in? What's happening, developmentally, when a child stops to look at a photo of themselves?
Reminiscing and connection give our kids a sense of belonging. That moment where a photo comes across the frame, and a parent says, "Oh, do you remember that day?" and the kid starts to talk. That, to me, is almost a moment of mindfulness. It's presence, right in the middle of the busyness.
Kids make sense of who they are and where they come from through photos and stories together. It's not just the photos. It's the photos and the conversation.
Kids also use photos to prepare for what's coming. Before I had my third baby, my older two boys kept asking to see pictures of themselves as babies. I think it helped them make sense of what was coming. Photos make abstract concepts concrete.
Are certain types of photos especially good at sparking these conversations? There's no right or wrong here, and parents don't need another thing to get perfect. But there's a lot of value in kids seeing themselves, and in seeing people they love who aren't nearby. Photos of places are interesting too. A beach you visited, a place you return to every year. Kids respond to them. And here's one I love: photos of you as a kid. How cool would it be for your kid to see you on your first day of school?
You've said "how was your day" tends to fall flat after school. Why, and what works instead?
You're going to get silence, or "fine." Kids are tired. They've been regulating and taking instructions from everyone around them for hours. Open-ended prompts tethered to something concrete work so much better.
That's one of the things I love about having the Aura frame where we can see it from the dinner table. One of my boys will notice a photo and say, "Mom, look, that's us in Maine last year!" And I'll say, "What do you remember loving about it?" And then we're talking. The photos do that work naturally, and the conversation takes over.
Many parents plan to scale back screen time once school starts, but that's easier said than done. How do you advise them to think about it?
Honestly, scaling back is hard, but I get why parents are thinking about it. With three kids and two working parents, we use screens at home but we have very clear limits in place.
What I'd push back on is the idea that all screen time is the same. Some of it is just a kid watching a show, which is okay and certainly has its place. And some of it actually connects them, like a video call with a grandparent, a photo that gets everyone talking. So rather than only counting minutes, I'd notice the difference: is this pulling my kid away from the people around them, or bringing them closer?
Relational technology is any tech that deepens or supports relationships rather than replacing them. FaceTime is a clear example. That's not a screen pulling my kid away from meaningful social interaction. That's a screen making one possible. With a digital frame, the photo comes up, someone says "remember that?" and you're off. The screen isn't the point. The conversation it starts is.
If you could give parents one concrete thing to make it easier to connect with their kids this year, what would it be?
Figure out the time of day when connection feels most doable for you, and protect it. For me, it's the end of the day. Not because I have energy. I really don't. But I know my kids need that connection after holding it together out in the world.
And that moment can be brief. Three minutes on a busy day counts. Find that moment, put your phone away, and be present for your kid. Let them feel seen.
Dr. Chloe Massey is a parenting advisor and child development specialist with extensive experience across teaching, research, and parent support. She holds a doctorate from The George Washington University and two master's degrees from New York University. Through her private practice, she helps families navigate everything from sleep and sibling dynamics to behavior, routines, and academic challenges, with strategies grounded in research and easy to put into practice. She also advises companies, partners with schools and community organizations on workshops, and teaches as an adjunct professor at NYU. Outside of work, she enjoys time with her husband and their three boys. You can learn more about her work through her website and Instagram.