November is National Adoption Month and we’re celebrating by featuring the unique stories of diverse adoptive families across the country. Today, we’re hearing from the Ebersole family. The following post was written by Brandi Ebersole.
We’re a family that started on two ends of the world. As the Mama of the bunch, I was born in Korea and adopted by a family in the United States when I was 6 months old. Danny, my husband and the dad of our little crew was born in Brazil but came to the states with his family when he was 6 years old. We met in college where our love of culture and people drew us to each other. Being an adoptee is a core part of my identity so I always felt that adopting would also be a part of my family make-up.
Shortly, after Danny and I got married we decided to start the private adoption process. It was one of our life’s greatest adventures and we’ll forever be grateful for the many people we met during this process. Most importantly, it brought us our daughter, Vera-lou, who is a vibrant and bright little girl. And with Vera, brought two additional amazing people into our lives-- her birth-mother and birth-father. Together, we have a beautiful blended family, spending birthdays and big events together while keeping open communication as much as possible.
We also have a biological son, Lenox, who is the only genetic relative I have a memory of meeting. Lenox is a peaceful, lego lover, who enjoys eating all the adventurous foods. My husband and I enjoyed having two kids but we always knew we had space and capacity to keep our family door open for more. And so, we became foster parents. Little did we know, the first baby to enter our home would become our son. Major Zaire is a loud and boisterous ball of joy, he loves any physical challenge laid before him.
One of our favorite things to do as a family is to dress up for Halloween. Each year, we try our best to find the perfect costume theme to span across the whole family. It always makes us laugh when we look back at past Halloween pictures and see how our kids always seem to express the perfect parts of the characters they play.
My advice for families that are thinking about adopting is to please educate yourself, connect to other adult adoptees, and find yourself a support system like a local therapist. Being able to process and see the long view of the adoption narrative will help you better navigate it. Building a family comes with the need for great vulnerability and doing so by adoption calls for an even greater amount of tenacity. Every adoption story is a gravesite for another life. But when we meet our family’s losses with empathy and room to feel, growth and belonging can be found.